I spent the last 3, hell 5 years trying to be something I’m not. No regrets, really. I learned a lot. It’s just that I found myself climbing up a ladder I didn’t need to simply because I could.
And in the climb I let go of some things, some integral things. I traded my substance for lightness because I had become addicted to the feel of rung after rung.
At first it was exhilarating. The view, the feeling of the breeze.
But as I shed more and more of myself the lightness turned to a sort of breathlessness
and in the thinning air I began to wonder where
Was I going?
What was I after?’
The ground felt heavy and humbling after being away for so long.
But soon I realized I was surrounded by the sprouted seeds of all the things I had dropped. It was me again but fresh and juicy and only the parts I wanted waiting to be cherry picked and put back on in new combinations like timeless vintage couture.
What glorious rummage!
What fabulous finds!
It had not been a total waste after all.